Writes our submitter in Alabama: “After the both men’s rooms in our office suffered from some serious anal explosions, our boss sent around an accusatory email,” which everyone in the office assumed was directed toward a particular coworker, Dan. “Dan vehemently maintains his innocence,” our submitter says, “and in an effort to ‘prove’ it, he posted this note above one of the desecrated toilets.”

related: A diarrhea-only toilet?

Precious in Texas says that whenever her mother comes over to visit, “all she wants to do is clean my messy house.” One day, Precious says, her daughter, Allison — along with Allison’s 5-year-old cousin — decided to take matters into their own hands, writing this warning and handing it to their grandma “fast mail.” As for Grandma’s response, says Precious, “I had to read it to her because she was laughing so hard.”

related: Never put nature aside for television

So, this is what you’ll see if you visit Whitehouse.gov right now. Sigh.

related: Governor of California to State Senate: “Get Stuffed.”

extra credit: John Boehner’s Shutdown [nytimes.com]

Lauren in Brooklyn says that when she asked her roommate, Josh, for the rent, “he gave me kind of a blank stare, but agreed to tape it to the fridge.” Instead, she got this:

Meanwhile, Oscar spotted this hand-painted masterpiece in the Fremont neighborhood of Seattle:

related: A message for our former housemate

Leah spotted this note in the changing area at Colman Pool in Seattle, a city she describes as “the epicenter of passive-aggressive communication.” Adds Leah: “I like the image of the kid’s shimmying out under the stall door as being a nifty method of floor cleaning. It’s both disgusting and passive-aggressive in the extreme!”

related: A few reasons not to feel sad that the public pool is closed for the season

And was it one of the “special” towels? (The kind that keep you in indentured servitude for seven years before you’re allowed to marry?)

P.S. I’d like to dedicate this post to my brother Danny and his fiancée, Meg, who are getting married this weekend in Minneapolis!

related: Those were the special towels!

Christina in Marietta, Georgia says her 7-year-old daughter pointedly handed her this note when she picked up after school. “For the record,” Christina says, “The bread was fresh, just multigrain instead of whole wheat. The cheese was simply a different brand of Swiss cheese. Both were bought the day before.”

Meanwhile, Steph in St. Paul, Minnesota received this missive from her 6-year-old after running out of garlic salt to sprinkle on her “macken cheese,” thus beginning a 15-month boycott. (“Honestly though,” says Steph, “I don’t think mac & cheese is very healthy anyway, so…”)

Finally, Beth in New Jersey got this “friendly letter” sent home from school with her 7-year-old son.

related: I love you, Mommy. Your sandwiches? Not so much.

Well, he has a point.

…but then again, what good passive-aggresive note pays attention to silly things like “reason” or “logic”?

related: An academic epidemic

Spotted backstage at a resort in St. Petersburg, Florida — drama! 

Or, as RuPaul put it:

related: Stripper Problems

Before you cry “FAKE!” — I would have filed this away in the “too-good-to-be-true,” pile, had not Deniz in Ontario stepped forward to admit that he is the mad man behind this posters. Explains Deniz: “I made this flyer because I had had enough of this STUPID CAT wrecking my flowers and window screen, but in the end all it accomplished was making my boyfriend think I was crazy. Oh, and I put my real phone number on it (stupid).”

I’ve gotta say, Deniz, you had me at “photo of similar looking cat.” This is my favorite crazypants submission in a long, long time.

Adds Deniz: “The STUPID CAT still remains at large. I have given up on planting flowers.”

related: Beware of barking mad cat lovers!